A Little Talked About Career Circumstance

A client named Marilyn called me for what I refer to as a “just-in-time coaching session.” She passed along the following experience that I thought was worth passing along to you.

Marilyn is a very energetic, fast thinking, smart, and dedicated middle manager. As a result of a reorganization that occurred six months ago, she is now reporting to a new boss, Sam. He is the chief source of her frustration and prompted the call.

Here’s how she explained her situation with Sam:

Sam is vague. Even though she tries to gain clarification, it does little good. Even trying to pin down Sam for specifics is a challenge and adds to her frustration. It’s as if he doesn’t know what he wants. It’s only after presenting ideas to him that he selects what he likes and doesn’t like. After several retakes, Marilyn finally gets some clarifications. This process takes up so much time and besides being frustrating, it’s exhausting!

What’s most upsetting to Marilyn is that Sam rarely, if ever, gives her any verbal feedback. She thrives on receiving verbal feedback, whether in the form of praise or criticism. Her former bosses were terrific at doing that! But in her present situation there is total silence. She’s motivated by and gets satisfaction from knowing that she’s adding value. When she hears nothing, it makes her feel as if she’s operating in a dark hole. As a result, Marilyn’s confidence is getting shaky.

Through the period I have worked with her, I know that Marilyn always tried to make her bosses look good. Now she is really challenged! After we worked through her immediate concerns, it occurred to me that perhaps Marilyn has run into a situation I have noticed other of my clients have experienced. It’s what I refer to as “The Bad Boss Dilemma.” This occurs as leaders start moving up the ranks in their career. They invariably encounter at least one “bad boss”…and it looks like it’s Marilyn’s turn! It’s important to remember that just because they are your boss, doesn’t mean that they are a competent leader!